Midnight Confrontations and True Strength
by Hypercritical-Q
Summary: Based on a selfdrawn doujinshi, Fay is confronted by a semidrunk Kurogane about his regressive behavior. Kurofai Kurofay Kurofye yaoi.


**AN: This fic is actually based on a doujinshi I'm working on. Maybe if I finish it, I'll post it online somewhere… This is slightly AU and slightly OOC, but you be the judge of that. I always try to keep my characters as in-character as possible. I know this isn't how their relationship will mend in the real story, but it's a nice fantacy. That's what doujinshi and fanfics are for, right? **

**Well, read and review. **

**Disclaimers: I don't own the characters. I've got nothing witty to say about that right now.**

**Warnings: Definite spoilers for recent chapters, yaoi, etc.**

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**Midnight Confrontation and True Strength**

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The door closed, softly, but still loud enough to be heard.

The clunking of an empty bottle being set on the ground was the closing door's response.

Kurogane glanced up from his resting place on the couch as Fay entered.

"Tadaima." Fay announced, softly, heading in with a brown paper bag full of groceries.

"Okaeri…" Kurogane laid back down, irritated. "I'd ask why you were gone for so long, but-"

"Where's Mokona?" Fay interrupted, heading to the cupboards to put their things away.

"Sleeping; like everyone else." Kurogane muttered before getting up, slightly, leaning over the back of the couch. "…Did you get any sake?"

"I got food. You don't need any more sake." Fay grumbled the second part and then muttered something so softly Kurogane had barely been able to hear any of it. The only words he had managed to catch were 'Ninja,' 'beer-belly,' and 'not very scary.'

Growling from the very gist of it, Kurogane folded his arms.

Fay finished putting their things away before he reached behind his head, pulling his hair loose. "Well… I didn't realize I'd been gone so long… I suppose I, too, am tired…"

Whether it was Fay's purposefully deceiving words or avoidant actions, something had went off inside of Kurogane, because before either of them knew what was happening, the mage's arm was being held behind his back, and the ninja's free hand was wrapped around Fay's middle, holding him close, but still at a far enough distance to where Fay didn't necessarily feel the immediate need to fight the man off; though he DID struggle.

"Stop." Kurogane whispered, and Fay stiffened.

For a short while, there was an extremely awkward silence, but Kurogane pierced it.

"…Just stop, already."

Fay grit his teeth, vampiric eye narrowing.

"You're making things worse than they need to be." Kurogane snapped.

"Ng…" Fay struggled, but Kurogane's strength wouldn't relent. "Kurogane."

Kurogane's eyes narrowed in pure fury as he spoke between gritted teeth as well. "Kurogane. Kurogane; even using my own name against me. You've always been able to get under my skin. Before it wasn't anything serious….but now…"

Fay visibly flinched as Kurogane's hand slid up his chest and gripped his chin.

"I'm running out of patience." The ninja whispered against Fay's ear. Fay feared that the man was far too close, but just as that thought passed through his mind, the man moved so that their bodies were pressing together, and the man's breath could be felt against the inside of his ear.

Fay shut his eyes, nervously, and Kurogane whispered in an even softer voice than Fay had never imagined possible for the man who had always been shouting and growling and grumbling:

"But I won't give up."

With that said, the man released Fay's arm and headed off to his room, muttering 'Goodnight,' as he walked away.

Fay gripped at his now sore right arm with his left hand, shivering slightly as the sound of Kurogane's retreating footsteps practically echoed in the room.

Without thinking, his hand shot back, gripping lightly at the back of Kurogane's shirt.

Both of them froze, both of them equally shocked, and Fay's desperate, trembling fingers slowly slid away, releasing the fabric as he wallowed in his own regret for having allowed his inner-most desires free, even if only for a moment..

Kurogane, understanding Fay's unconscious action, sighed before raising a hand to his pounding head. "I think I've reached my limit."

"?" Fay turned, nervously, still shocked from his own actions.

"BLEEEH!!" Fay stared as Kurogane's after-image seemingly vanished, the sound of the man's voice could be heard in the bathroom, which was open a crack. Fay glanced in and noticed Kurogane bent over the toilet, spilling his guts.

"And you wanted more…" Fay sighed, opening a trash bag and picking up a few of the random bottles lying all about the floor.

Kurogane came out of the bathroom, followed by a flushing sound as he cleared his throat.

Fay turned to face him, eye twitching. 'Time for me to practice the 'saving face' thing Kurogane taught me back on Yama…' He thought.

"Were you…" Kurogane trailed off before glancing at Fay. "Going… to say anything?"

"…" Fay let his head drop as he handed the bag to Kurogane. "Um… no… well… actually…"

Kurogane watched him, intently, hoping this meant Fay might actually open up-- or at least revert back to his old self.

"Good night…" Fay smiled the most brilliant and obviously fakest smile Kurogane had ever seen.

That did it.

"Make sure you get a good night's re-" Fay started walking off, but Kurogane grabbed his arm, pulling him past the blonde's room and toward his own.

"Ugh!" The blonde hit the bed before bouncing onto his ass and looking up at Kurogane, glaring.

His glare turned into more of a fearful gawk when Kurogane started tugging down at his shirt collar.

"Maybe it's because of the alcohol…" Kurogane muttered as he undid the buttons on his shirt. "Maybe it's the two years of pent up sexual frustration… or maybe I just want to force things back to being the way they were… Maybe I want what we once had…"

Fay stared up at him, glaring again before pulling back as Kurogane reached down for him, the man's hand brushing past his cheek.

Fay shut his eyes but then his good eye reopened, widening as he felt a familiar tug at the back of his head, and he could feel his eye-cover/band loosening.

"NO!" He screamed, softly, shutting his eyes tightly as Kurogane removed it.

"Nn!! What're you doing?!!" The blonde covered his left eye with a free hand.

Kurogane grabbed his other wrist, bringing it to Fay's eye as well before tying his wrists up with the band.

"Waah!" Fay shut his eyes, fearful of accidentally opening his missing eye and revealing it.

Kurogane pushed Fay against the wall, gently, whispering. "Whenever you would feed, you'd turn so that your bad eye faced me. Now you have to face me. You'll keep that one hidden from me, too, won't you? Either way, it shouldn't matter. I don't mind seeing it… I don't want you to have any secrets any longer."

Fay gasped as Kurogane licked his neck to his good eye. The blonde whimpered and tried to pull his wrists apart without damaging his precious band.

Kurogane lifted Fay's chin, again. "Even though I'd hoped you wouldn't be… you appear to be the masochistic type… so I won't hold back…"

"Kurogane…" Fay whispered, nervously, pulling away. "Are you going to lower yourself to my level? Relying on excuses like being drunk or horny to hurt me?"

"I don't know how else to get through to you. Even if I'm patient… you and that princess are hiding something… and I have a bad feeling about it… I have to forge SOMETHING between us… I have to get back what we had… or else…"

"…" Fay fell silent before shutting his eyes. "…From the very beginning, you didn't want to have anything to do with us."

"But I do. Things have changed… some good… some bad… but right now… RIGHT NOW, we're all still together… and that's…"

Fay watched him before sighing.

"I don't want everything to have been for nothing… I don't want to be like that kid… he's stronger than I am… the relationship between him and the princess… it was torn away from him… I'd give my life before letting that happen… because they got it back… but you…"

Fay shut his eyes. "Forcing a physical relationship on me won't fix anything. If anything, it'll put a greater barrier between you and I… I can't take back everything we've had… I wish I could… but it's happened… all I want now is for you to forget everything…"

"I don't want to forget everything!" Kurogane snapped.

"What do you want?" Fay groaned.

"I want… "

"Do you want to go home? Do you want to stay with all of us? Stay focused on your original goal, Kurogane… then everything will be better…" Fay raised a hand up to his companion's cheek, smiling sympathetically. "…When you return to Nihon… Sakura-chan will return to Clow… and I'll continue running…"

"…That's not what's going to happen. I won't let it."

Fay laughed softly. "Well what do you want to have happen? You want to keep traveling forever?"

"Until things are better…"

"A ninja who longs for a happy ending is as silly as a ninja with a beer belly." Fay grinned and Kurogane leaned down, closing the space between their faces.

Fay responded to the kiss, tightening his fingers in Kurogane's hair and swallowing his tongue, whole-heartedly, giving away to the passion the two were drowning in.

The longing, the desperation, the want, the need, the time they'd invested in one another, those moments, the good, the bad…

The love.

---

"What do you long for?" Kurogane whispered as he laid in bed with the blonde mage.

"…" Fay smiled as Kurogane brushed his thumb across Fay's left lashes.

"…Someone to stay by your side? To take you away? Someone who will love you unconditionally? I'll do it all."

"Ninjas who say sweet things aren't scary, either." Fay whispered, laying down on his stomach so he could sleep. He hadn't slept this way in the months since that incident. His face ached, even still, and it hurt to sleep with his face buried against anything, even soft sheets and pillows.

"…I want redemption… forgiveness… and like you, I want a happy ending…"

"…But you don't want to fight for it…" Kurogane muttered.

Fay fell silent. "What a person wants to do is one thing. Knowing your limits is something else entirely."

Kurogane didn't reply, he just wrapped an arm around Fay's waist, pulling him closer.

"But to push past your limits… perhaps that's real strength…" Fay smiled lightly. "…To not know what you want for sure… but to fight even when you're absolutely incapable. Even when the odds are stacked against you… even if by fighting… that means hurting those who oppose you…"

Kurogane kissed the nape of Fay's neck as the blonde drifted into sleep. Kurogane tied the band back around Fay's forehead and left eye before kissing the patch.

"No matter what… even if I die in this misery… I'll always have these memories…" Fay whispered, falling asleep.

"…Even if you die… will I be left with these memories?" Kurogane muttered, and Fay smiled lightly.

"But you won't let me die… so it doesn't matter."

"…That's true." Kurogane rested his head against Fay's, shutting his eyes.

Fay frowned, eye opening. "…I'll try harder… Kuro-tosan."

Kurogane smiled as he drifted off into sleep.

**---**

**AN: I had originally intended there to be a lemon in there, because I intend to draw one in the doujinshi, but I've barely gotten up to the part where Kurogane explains his actions to Fay… the whole forging something between the two seems a tad out of character, but you guys can be the judge of that. I'm too tired.**

**Also, if ANYONE can tell me how upload my fics in their original formatting, I would forever be in your debt. I'll even add another fic of that person's choice with a lemon in it. **


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